


i hear a higher calling

by the_other_lutece_sister



Category: Orphan Black (TV)
Genre: Canon Divergence, F/F, conversations i want to happen, progeek but not really?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-12
Updated: 2017-06-12
Packaged: 2018-11-13 11:25:28
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 977
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11184123
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/the_other_lutece_sister/pseuds/the_other_lutece_sister
Summary: rachel and cosima...talk. inspired by the OB S.5 premiere, and is spoilery for that episode!





	i hear a higher calling

Rachel Duncan was smiling.

Cosima stared up at her, frowning.

The others around her, the villagers, the _cultists,_ also stared, but in rapt attention, faces turned upwards like she was Moses sent down from the mountain. She was smiling, _warmly_ , and talking, _graciously_ , and Cosima felt her chest tighten even further. It was some kind of trick, a game, a pretence of _care_ to get these weirdos on her side.

But she couldn’t look away from Rachel’s face. It _glowed_ . What had Westmoreland said to her? Was he even really _real_ ? _How_ was he real? Cosima itched to dig up every file, every _scrap_ of paper in this place and find out _exactly_ what these people had been doing here.

Despite not taking her eyes off Rachel, Cosima had drifted into her thoughts, and now she realised Rachel had stopped talking and was looking right at her. She still had that smile on her face - a smile that on Sarah or Alison could be loving and concerned.

On Rachel, it was terrifying.

Cosima swallowed.

 

Mud tugged at her elbow, eyes lit up with the certainty of a believer, and grinned.

 

“She wants to see you,” she exclaimed, “What an honour!”

 

Cosima looked at her, raising an eyebrow and tilting her head.

 

“You, uh, realise we have met before, right?” She rubbed her hands together, the cold creeping in through the gloves. “I mean...several times. I was there when she...you know. Stabbed her mother.”

 

Mud’s face barely changed.

 

“Oh, Susan will be fine.” she said confidently. “I heard she’ll pull through.” Her face turned to Rachel, and she smiled that weird little smile. “She’s so beautiful, right?”

 

Cosima’s mouth dropped open a little and she stared at Mud for a moment before shaking her head. Unbelievable. Even knowing that she’d tried to murder her own mother, these people welcomed Rachel like she was the damn messiah.

“Yeah,” she answered shortly, “We’re a beautiful family.” God, where was Delphine? Why couldn’t she stay? She glanced nervously at the cabin with the red cross on the door.

Mud grinned again.

 

“You shouldn’t keep her waiting.” She prodded Cosima on the arm. Cosima jerked her arm away irritably.

 

“Yeah, sure, whatever.” She started walking towards Rachel, who was still watching her, smiling as patiently as a plaster saint. She felt her throat constrict, tried to swallow, coughed. When she reached Rachel, noting the armed guards that flanked her, the blonde was looking at her with a concerned expression.

 

“Cosima,” she greeted her, warmly. “How are you feeling?” She looked closely at Cosima’s face, and reached out a hand. Cosima flinched, and Rachel gave a small sigh. “Cosima. We’re in this together now. Please.” She reached out again and curled her fingers around Cosima’s wrist, pushing the glove up to bare the skin. Cosima felt her pulse skitter at Rachel’s surprisingly warm touch.

Rachel’s eyes flicked up to meet hers, fleetingly sharp, keeping her thumb on the pulse.

 

“Hmm. Elevated, but that’s understandable. It’s an exciting day. For all of us.” Her fingers tightened around Cosima’s wrist, her thumb slowly sliding back and forth along the bones.

“I know Dr Cormier is - _was_ \-  here,” she murmured. “How...wonderful for the two of you.” Her fingers tightened even more, and Cosima imagined her bones bending, the ulna snapping.

 

“What the hell, Rachel?” she hissed, tugging at her hand ineffectually. Rachel merely tilted her head a little and smiled, smiled, smiled. Cosima gave up on getting her hand back and settled for loudly asking,

“How’s your _mother_?”

 

Rachel’s smile never faltered.

“Recovering. Isn’t it marvellous what science can achieve, Cosima?” Her voice lowered again, intimate and conversational.

 

“Did you know,” she hummed, “when I was put into an induced coma after the -” she waved her other hand at her face, eyelids fluttering briefly, “Dr Cormier would visit me. Kept an eye on me, so to speak.” Now the smile disappeared for a moment, then returned. Rachel leaned forward a little, her face so close to Cosima’s that if she turned her head a fraction, she could kiss her. Her breath was warm against Cosima’s ear.

“Your girlfriend has quite a talent for torture. Were you aware of that?” Her tone was light now. “She wanted information - and she dug her finger into my eye socket until she got it.” She drew back a little and looked into Cosima’s face, smiling at the shock she found there. Her thumb dug into Cosima’s wrist, the nail biting at the fragile skin.

“The pain, Cosima. It was - consuming.” Her smile grew wider. “Perhaps it’s just as well the good doctor has been sent on another research trip.” One last painful squeeze, and she dropped Cosima’s hand. “I _do_ look forward to seeing her when she returns, however.”

 

Cosima rubbed her wrist, frowning as she thought about Delphine. She would _never_ ... _would_ she? She couldn’t quite meet Rachel’s eyes now, bit her lip.

 

“Uh...I don’t..” she stuttered, then trailed off. She couldn’t form a coherent sentence, not with the image of Delphine leaning over Rachel in a hospital bed, pushing down, Rachel screaming.

“I’m...sorry. That she did that.” she found herself saying.

 

Rachel nodded, thoughtfully.

“So am I.”  Suddenly, the smile was gone and her face was as inscrutable as it ever was. She waved a hand. “You may go now. You’ll be assigned duties, and called when needed.” She turned, grasping the cane that had been leaning against the podium.

 

“But...but...what about..?” Cosima realised she hadn’t asked Rachel about Westmoreland, or…

 

Rachel didn’t turn back, merely gestured at the guards. Cosima was gently but firmly directed back down to the camp. The thought of Delphine returning, a bittersweet dream just an hour ago, now filled her with a sense of encroaching dread.

 

She could still feel Rachel’s fingers around her wrist.

**Author's Note:**

> soundtrack - [divisionary by ages and ages](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-BAU9mKJjdU)
> 
> I see you up again wandering so diligent  
> Crossing your t's as though it weren't irrelevant  
> They say formality, this is what they really meant:  
> They can be the walk, we can, we can be the pavement
> 
> Do the right thing, do the right thing  
> Do it all the time, do it all the time  
> Make yourself right, never mind them  
> Don't you know you're not the only one suffering
> 
> So what you're up against, all the disingenuous  
> They wave you along and say there's always room for us  
> But we know better than that to take 'em serious  
> Still don't let 'em make you bitter in the process
> 
> And when the light is up, this is how oughta be (do the right thing)  
> We'll make it alright, they'll come around eventually (do it all the time)  
> They say it's nothing but that ain't the reality (do it all the time)  
> They may take us on but they can never take us easy
> 
> And they ain't moving, they're just moving around  
> So if you love yourself, you better get out  
> Get out, get out, get out now


End file.
